Dear Matt,

I am getting over something as I am writing this.  Last Friday, the 21st, I decided to walk along the Libertad Public Market and see what they were selling there.  It was my lunch break and having nothing else to do and with time to kill, I decided to window shop.  I was walking along, wallet in school uniform's waist-level, front pocket when I felt a guy suddenly dip his hand in my pocket and run away with my wallet!  I was so surprised at what happend and my initial reaction was to chase the guy.  He went into the stalls, doing his best to put as many people between us.  I finally grabbed a hold of the rear of his shirt and he halted, but not before he was able to pass my wallet along to someone else.  He acted like I caught the wrong person but I pretty much knew it was him.  I was so frustrated and wanted to drag his sorry ass to the police station, but I knew I could not manage to do that without him easily pushing me back and running again.  Not knowing what else to do, I let go of his shirt and he immediately moved away.

I walked back depressed.  Bad things happen to other people.  They don't happen to me!!  I could not believe what has just happend!  I walked back to school then thinking about whether I should report it or not.  I had very little faith in the police and a little voice was saying, it will be futile to get my wallet back.  

When I was in front of the police station, I took a moment to just stare.  It was the type of station that was "open".  It looked like a stall with a high front desk.  The police looked mean and ill-tempered.  Half of me did not want to walk up to the cop behind the desk, but the other half was screaming for justice.  I finally mustered enough courage and went to the desk.

The cop took every detail of what happend, asked what the contents of my wallet were and then said that it was irrecoverable.  More frustrated, I decided to phone my dad.  Dad was there in less than an hour.  Told him I was not hurt or anything, just reporting a crime.  He asked me to wait in the car and after 2 hours of waiting, there it was, dad brought back my wallet.  

It frustrated me even more.  They told me it was irrecoverable, but I was holding the wallet now.  My money was even there - down to the last peso, except that it was broken down into small bills.  What frustrated me was the fact that, they did not do anything when it was me reporting, but when it was my dad, they sent someone to the market to retrieve my wallet.

On the way back home, dad explained that the police knew which syndicate operated where and knew also who to call.  That experience was very frustrating but at the same time humbling.  I was frustrated at our police.  I was humbled knowing that bad things CAN also happen to me if I am not careful.

Louise says: I've had too much of a sheltered like that I thought those sort of things don't really happen to people like me. It was a good wake up call.  Frustrating, yes.  But I guess I needed to go through that.

Thought for the day: Nothing is as they seem.  It pays to know people - frustrating, but true.

Dear Matt,

I did not go to school today.  I am not used to skipping class and I feel guilty about it, but since exams are over and there aren't really much to do at school, I decided to stay home.  The exams weren't so bad.  Some of my classmates lured me to cheat but I did not give in.  Sometimes, when everyone is doing it, It's difficult to not do the same.  But I gave in once and I am not about to do it again.  Sure, my classmates thought it was cool, but the feeling it left me with was not a pleasant one.

When I was a child, I accidentally broke my mom's favorite vase while playing in our living room.  Mom told me countless times to be careful when playing near it but I got careless and accidentally hit it off the table.  I cleaned up the mess and thought about whether or not I should tell my mom.  I knew she would be angry and I knew that the consequence would be a couple of belt slaps on my butt.  As I waited for mom and dad to arrive, I was a mixture of emotions.  Nobody saw.. I can easily pretend not to know what happend to it if she goes looking.  I was quiet that afternoon and when I finally heard the car pull up in the driveway, I knew what I should do.

When mom was alone in their room, I took my dad's belt and went over to her and handed it.  She asked me what it was for and I told her about the vase.  Mom was silent for a moment or two and then smiled at me and said, "Because you told the truth, you can put this away" and handed me back dad's belt.  I was so surprised and at the same time, so happy!  The several layers of underwear I wore to cusion the belt when it hit my behind was not necessary.. haha!  

That day, I learned the value of integrity and that trait remained in me up to now.  I would rather not say anything than lie.

Louise

Thought for the day:  I don't know how some people can lie in your face and yet be able to sleep at night.  The worst kind are those who lie and on top of that, makes it appear that someone else is to blame.  I have met several people who are like this and my only recourse when dealing with these sort of people is to either burn my bridges or if that is not possible, not to trust, and keep interaction at a minimum.  

Honesty is very important to me..  so dishonest people, stay away! 

Gee..  I feel so good already! =)

06 November 1992

Today, I've just started a journal again.  I want it to be more personalized so I am giving my journal a name.  If ships were referred as a "She", I think I will refer to my journal as a "he".  Let's call him "Matt".  That's short for Matthew.  Let's start again...

Dear Matt,

Today, I've just started a journal.  If I remember clear, it's the third time that I am writing one again.  I wrote a journal before, but I burned it - 2 of them actually - but only because I was embarrassed after someone managed to read it.  Talk about security breach! 

Anyway, I've been thinking of calling you "Link" after the character from "California Man" (but I like Matt better).  I found the movie really funny and I would have watched it again if I only had time.  It was my first time to go out and see a movie with my sister at night. Can you believe it?  Dad finally allowed us to go out at night!  We used to get chewed out when we came home past 6 o'clock in the afternoon, but this time, Dad actually let us go.  Amazing! 

Hmmm.. what else to write..  I really want to keep a journal and I will probably write more in the days to come.  Right now, I am merely squeezing writing in as I have quite a busy schedule.  Let's see..  I have a tea party on the 10th, reports to do and elimination rounds for the speech fest on the 9th (and probably meetings afterwards)  I really want to win at the speech fest.  My name's at stake.  It's my first time to ever participate in one and as I was not exactly a volunteer candidate, I don't want to fail the teachers who pushed me to join.

Anyway, enough of that for now.  Write again tomorrow.

Louise

Louise says: Wow!  how many teens actually write a diary and name them too??  I also can't believe that I called myself "Busy" in 1992.  

Thought for the day:  This confirms that I was once a nerd (and will always be one) hahaha but I won't have it any other way.